Lingamish suggested the song with that title as an alternative to replace the one he got running through my head yesterday. Being the cultural illiterate that I am, I had never heard of it. Just from the title though, I had a reaction to it (an emotional reaction, of course!)
I get frustrated sometimes by the bad rap that feelings get. Nothing more than feelings? What’s that supposed to mean? It probably doesn’t matter if it’s just my feelings?
Are emotions the thing we should be fearing above all else? Sometimes it feels (oops, there’s that word again) that way. What? So my emotions can make me believe something that is not true? (And no one has ever reasoned or logicked their way into error?) Emotions are what lead us astray from the facts of reality? If I can just learn to “rule” my emotions, I can avoid a whole lot of sin? Oh yeah, that’s right–Eve WAS the one that got conned into eating the fruit. Satan must have known that a woman’s emotions were the flaw in God’s creation. So, he went to Eve first. Right?
I sort of understand what people are getting at when they downplay emotions, but as a person who is a Feeler first and Thinker second, I refuse to believe that my character and personality are somehow flawed BECAUSE of the way my brain works emotionally. Yes, I’m flawed because of sin, but not because I’m created as a person who reasons emotionally. Yes, there are weaknesses to my personality. As there would be if I were a more rational, logical person. (And if I’m not making sense here, let’s just go ahead and blame it on emotions. Or hormones. Because we all know emotional people are way too controlled by those, too!)
Okay, enough rant. I’m actually laughing when I think about this right now, because in looking for the lyrics to the song I found an article of someone ranting about people who are controlled by “nothing more than feelings”. And I could relate. Because I know what it FEELS like to be in his shoes, just coming from the opposite direction. So, being ruled by feelings, which the author is making fun of, is what made it impossible for me NOT to connect and understand his point.
Here’s a quote from the post, which had me laughing my head off:
Typically, their [feelers'] opinions on these subjects are not anchored in facts, history, logic or an elementary understanding of economics.
Trying to have a rational discussion with left-liberal feelers on socioeconomic issues is as futile as trying to have a rational discussion with feelers from the Religious Right about religion. It’s less painful and more productive to hit yourself in the head with a hammer.
The predominance of feelers explains why politics is so irrational, why government wastes so much money on counterproductive programs, why rational-thinking libertarians will forever be in the political wilderness, and why the mass media is so devoid of intellectual content.
Excuse me, but I have to go to the garage now to get a hammer
That is hilarious to me. Now I know what’s wrong with the world–People like Me! 
Warning–that’s the end of the part of the post where I’m, believe it or not, thinking. The rest is wordy, raw emotion.
Maybe it’s not actually as funny as I think it is. But, today I’ll take my laughs wherever I can get them. I’ve spent the morning with a heavy and weeping heart. I talked to the owner of the house we’re in this morning after being told “no” again by another lender. The decision is that the house is going to go on the “unofficial” (meaning not through a realtor) market at the beginning of next week. I do have a peace that it will be okay, but walking through the process of it all feels overwhelming to me.
Words of comfort and reminders of the faithfulness of God have been hard for me to hear today from friends who really do care deeply. Not because the words are untrue. But because I really do already know I can trust the faithfulness and wisdom and knowing-the-futurenesss of God. But knowing, believing and even confidently feeling the reality of that does not make my heart hurt less. What it does is give me hope that today is not all there is. Even things that seem unbearable aren’t an end in themselves. But they are agonizing to walk through. And that’s what I’m feeling and experiencing today.
I think the song I need to a repetitive, stick-in-your-mind tune should have lyrics from the last chapter of Habakkuk. Because over and over, even without music, I keep thinking, “Yet will I trust Him.” And it’s not just gritting my teeth determination that makes me say it. It’s what I feel from the bottom of my heart. “Yet will I trust Him.” When it doesn’t make sense. When tears roll down my face. When I have to tell my kids we will probably be moving. When they are grieving moving from the first house they’ve ever moved into and settled into without knowing from the beginning that it would be temporary until…. Yet will I trust Him. Even if I have to pack up boxes, when even the thought of packing makes me hyperventilate. Yet will I trust Him. Yet will I trust Him. I have no doubts that He can do a miracle and make a way for us to stay. I have no doubts that if He doesn’t it’s not because He forgot or was too busy or couldn’t. I have no doubts that He hears my cry and has regarded it. I have no doubts that He loves me. What I have a lot of is pain. And sorrow. And grief (which I know is complicated by many other griefs of the past years). I know I can trust Him. And I do. Even when I don’t understand.
But the trust doesn’t ease the ache. And I think that’s part of the problem I have with “correct the thinking” responses to difficult feelings. My thinking can be correct (or corrected), but it doesn’t fix the feelings. They still hurt like all get out. They are real and huge, in a way that I’m not going to try to diminish or dismiss by disregarding them as “nothing but feelings.”
Sorry for the tangent, Lingamish–I go off on these rabbit trails when I get an emotional button pushed and I have a feeling people think, “Wow! I wish I’d never brought THAT up.” I know none of this has anything to do with your humorous suggestion of catchy tunes! And in spite of the intensity and emotional overkill reaction, I really am thankful for the laugh I got out of reading the lyrics you suggested today.
I hope I don’t scare too many of my limited readership away with the introspective, emotional verbosity flowing out of my current situation and struggle! Many thanks again, to those of you praying with me in this process.
[Update: Well, I certainly feel better after getting all that off my chest!]
You don’t know that song! Whoa whoa whoa feeeeeeeeeelings. But tell me that you at least know Whip It by Devo!
The house thing leaves me serious. It’s not funny. Big stuff. Man, Psalm 68 talks about this! “God gives the desolate a home to dwell in” Sometimes you gotta go to the RSV to really hear it right.
Brain for you guys. Pray for us we’re on the road to Nampula.
Praying not brain. Where’s mine?
Lingamish, Nope, don’t know “Whip It” either. I’m the antithesis of with it when it comes to popular American culture/music/movies, etc. The only thing I’m sort of up on is literature, and even then my tastes tend to deviate from the “norm”. “Don’t Worry Be Happy” was the only song on your list I knew!
Thanks for your concern about the house. Isn’t it great to speak English where we can go to as many translations as we want until we hear it the way we like it?
Hey, my brain knows what an African road feels like, so I’m praying for you, too!
Haha! Well at least I know now why you “got” those couple posts you commented on.
http://familyhoodchurch.blogspot.com/2006/06/sidebar-feelings-at-church.html
I could not agree more. Leading with the emotions is not very American, but it is not flawed either.
(I even have one post of pure doctrine driven by pure emotion:
http://familyhoodchurch.blogspot.com/2006/04/destined-through-weakness.html)
I was reading something this morning by Merton saying that it was silly to get all wrapped up in these things that are all passing. Ummm. Yeah. Try telling that to David or Jeremiah. Dudes got WRAPPED.
Hang tough, and may the Lord deliver the right house into your hands. Either way, may He deliver your spirit perfect by the suffering He has allowed you, and the spirits of your children as well.
Codepoke,
Thanks for your comment. Your prayer/blessing at the end touched me deeply.
I’m afraid I don’t know what “wrapped” means, but as a so-so linguist, I’d love a definition!
I think I’m amazed to find I’ve got company questioning statements-that-sound-like-truth about how we’re most spiritual when we’re most ignoring the feelings that go along with life experiences. I sometimes feel like a heretic even suggesting that people like Merton, Anne Graham Lotz, Bob George, et. al. might be wrong on this particular topic (i.e. feelings are the enemy to reality and to faith).
I meant David and Jeremiah were completely wrapped up emotionally in the things they were praying – screaming – despairing of. One doesn’t weep for despair of life while logically assessing the probable outcome of any given trial – even being surrounded by enemies. One despairs of life while emotionally adapting to the situation the Lord has fitted to your life.
Emotions cannot be subjected to the scientific method dependably. They cannot be subjected to the logical method at all. They come in an instant and depart when ready. But they are like calculus – do you know any calculus? You can solve any calculus problem without calculus – you can use algebra to the do the same thing – it will just take 5 pages to find the answer rather than 5 lines.
The emotional calculus of tears is simple. When there’s nothing else you can do, you cry. Tears = helplessness. The emotions evaluate every option, and reach the correct conclusion in the time it takes you to cloud up. The mind will follow along and realize how right the emotions are eventually. And joy comes from an unexpected gift. And so on. I’ve never thought any of this through, of course, because it isn’t necessary. The answers are right there for those of us who see them.
Emotions also help you quit going down false trails. Once you’ve cried the tears, you can quit pursuing false hope and begin looking for the true. That’s ALWAYS the pattern of the Psalms. David cries out, exhausts himself, and accepts the answer God provides. Emotions help us break through with our whole beings into the right answer, instead of just “testing the waters” one toe at a time.
I’ve never read Lotz or George, but from what I’ve read of Merton – sign me up for your revolution!
Okay, duh moment for me–now I see what you meant by WRAPPED–it was right there in the context, same paragraph. The sentence “Dudes got WRAPPED” just threw me
I don’t do calculus–I can barely do algebra. But I follow what you are saying.
You’ll have me chewing on this for a while. I feel this kind of thing, but struggle with putting it into words. So, I’m glad for the gift of words you’ve given here on this topic.
“One despairs of life while emotionally adapting to the situation the Lord has fitted to your life.” That’s the story of my life right now and why I don’t feel as guilty about despairing when despair is about the worst thing many people I know can imagine.
“Once you’ve cried the tears, you can quit pursuing false hope and begin looking for the true.” That feels like another angle of the refrain I sing a lot, “Lament is inherently hopeful.”
Thanks for your input and dialogue.
P.S.
I really don’t like to think of it as a revolution, or myself as a revolutionary. But a career counselor recently gave an assessment of me as a “quiet renegade,” and I realized I couldn’t argue with that. I don’t like non-conformity for the sake of non-conformity. I actually wish I could conform and blend in and especially be understood more. But I end up non-conforming as an integrity thing–I can’t be like everybody else, as much as I wish I could, if that’s just not the way I am. I don’t want to change the way I am or the way I think. I just wish that way of thinking didn’t seem so strange, foreign and sometimes ridiculous to so many people!
I must confess, I haven’t read Merton–I was just responding to your comment referencing him and it reminded me of the others I mentioned.
[...] I’m all for making more space for feelings. I, after all, have made the statement that I reason emotionally. And it is also true that unless I “feel” a math concept, I probably won’t [...]