This was the best visual I could find for expressing where I’m at emotionally today. Quitting is too costly. Keeping on going seems, well, pretty near impossible.
I thank God for the perspective of a friend who listened to me wail about being stuck today. Having a friend around when you’re stuck doesn’t necessarily mean you can or will get unstuck. It doesn’t automatically make the impossible seem possible. But a friend can bring perspective to the situation, even if it is just by stating the obvious so obviously that (1) I realize I really do have good reason to despair (i.e. I’m not crazy to be feeling overwhelmed) and (2) I can actually even laugh a little about it (I find it nearly impossible to laugh, alone, when I’m stuck. I have many good and funny friends, though, and I appreciate every little laugh they can eke out of me when I’m down).
It’s amazing how being able to lament with someone else about how hard things are can infuse a desperate situation with a ray of hope. A friend’s very presence reminds me that I’m not alone. One friend can be a tangible reminder of the many other people still in my life. And although I cannot defend or explain exactly how it works, a friend’s listening to my cries (and sometimes crying them with me) gives me courage to keep crying out to God and trusting Him, even in between a rock and a hard place.
Don’t ever underestimate the strength and courage you can give to someone who is stuck, by sitting with them, sharing in their grief and lamenting with them. You may or may not be able to help them see another solution to getting through or even out of their problems. But you honor their suffering by listening. You pass on courage and strength by grieving with them.
Okay, that’s enough philosophizing about pain and suffering and feeling stuck and wanting to quit and the importance of friends being there with you even if they can’t do any better than you can at getting yourself unstuck.
All that’s well and good, and I’m really grateful it’s true.
But,
…while I was looking for a photo to illustrate those thoughts, I came upon these priceless bits of information in case I’m ever really and literally stuck.
I realize this might be of no interest to anyone who typically reads my blog. But, hey, I told you I’m eclectic and my blog is a little of this and a lot of that. And I’ve spent a lot of time today crying. On days like this, learning something new and interesting is always a good pick-me-up. This completely irrelevant-to-my-real-life information helped me feel a little less stuck by giving my brain somebody else’s problems (and solutions) to think about.
[As a side note--What is the world coming to? Lingamish, who originally made fun of "chick bloggers" who post pictures of cats, recently posted a picture of...a cat. And I, one of the "chicks" stereotypically lumped in that original mocking post, have now posted photos and tips for using a winch to get unstuck. What can I say? Things (and bloggers) are never exactly what they seem to be. Put them under a little pressure, and you never know how they'll surprise you. Not that I know what sort of pressure could have prompted Lingamish to post a cat photo.]
Maybe someone more creative than me can come up with some analogies from these “getting unstuck” tips to principles for getting out of metaphoric rocks and hard places. But, if not, my joy in these tips is full just in thinking about and learning some things I’d never really thought of in quite this way before.
The above photo and the following tips are selected from Peterson’s 4WHEEL & Off-Road, and each tip I’ve quoted–plus some more I didn’t–has its own photo illustration in the original article, entitled “Hot Winching Tips and Tricks”:
- Mount the winch the right way… Having the winch and mount dangling from the electrical cables instead of being securely on the front of your truck is a great way to ruin your day [and we don't want MORE of that].
- And speaking of anchors, make sure they won’t move. We’ve seen more than one guy winch a tree down onto their Jeep, as well as rolling a rock or two off a cliff [OUCH!~]. Always use a tree-saver strap on a tree to protect the shrubbery [Because when you are SUVing, being as green as possible is surely one of your top priorities], and mount it as low as possible for maximum strength. The higher a strap goes, the more leverage is induced to pull the tree over, while even little shrubs can hold a good amount of weight if the strap is placed low around the base.
- Whatever you attach the cable to, be sure that it is rated as strong as-or stronger than-what you’re pulling. Attaching a winch hook to a stock bumper is one way to mangle that bumper. Never use a trailer ball, sheetmetal, steering, or suspension components, unless you want them severely rearranged.
- Before you put tension on a cable, place a jacket, blanket, or other weight on it. This keeps the cable under control should it break, or attaching hardware comes loose. A flying cable can do serious damage to 4×4s as well as body parts.
- Limit the amount of well-meaning people in any winch operation.
- Help the stuck vehicle out by driving it at the same speed as the winch is pulling.
- On a triple line pull, as shown with two fixed pulleys, the mechanical advantage of the two pulleys doubles the pulling power as well as halves the effective recovery speed. In addition, the extra cable reeled off the drum increases the mechanical advantage by having less wraps on the winch drum. While effective, this method should be used carefully as twice as much stress is placed on all mounting points. [I'd never really considered that "twice as much stress" might, on occasion, be a good thing.]
- You can even change the direction of a winch pull to move the rear of a rig around. When caught between a rock and a hard place, this can be the only way out.
- Using a tree-saver strap as an anchor around a rollbar is trick, but make sure the bar is securely attached or major tweakage can result. [Major tweakage. Hmmm I think I've got some of that going on...]
- Winches use energy and produce heat. They can suck a battery dry and melt their own wires if not taken care of. Keep the winching battery charged while winching by keeping the engine running at a high idle, and limit pulling times so as not to overheat the winch. If you end up with a dead battery or you smoked your winch, your vehicle is a lot more stuck than it was when you first entered the mud hole.
- Severe side winching can ruin your cable if you don’t have a roller fairlead.
And finally:
- Standing away from the taut cable, or even finding a hiding place like this, is a smart thing to do. It’s the winch operator’s responsibility to clear the “Kill Zone” of the winch cable or other dangerous areas before using the winch.
[Personally, I'd like a nice hiding place like this from my troubles. Funny how relative "nice" can be depending on the surrounding circumstances!]
Well, that was a nice distraction from my own feeling stuckness, and it was good to spend a few minutes thinking about one trouble I’m not likely to have any time soon here in Florida.
It’s back to work for me. And I’d appreciate your prayers as I navigate through feeling a good bit stuck and overwhelmed today, with the pressures I’m facing and the energy and resources I’m missing.
Yep, I’m so glad you blog, because you say things so well. Even things that are so obviously hard, you say with a chuckle and a tear.
That’s a brilliant picture of an awful place to find one’s self.
May the Lord find that solid thing He’s placed in your character, and use it to winch you into a wide-open space.
e-
‘winches use energy and produce heat…stand away from a taut cable…’
you are a peanut. hope you’ve pulled yourself out of the ditch. landing in ditches is what happens when one moves about the world in a carefree manner.
happy winching,
scott
LOL…Cats! I’ve never been manly enough to own a winch. I was afraid if I installed it on my Land Rover I might become foolhardy enough to go places where one is necessary.
In your situation I think a cat might be more useful than a winch. Better still a friend as you were lucky enough to discover.
Love you guys.
Codepoke, Thanks for the vote of confidence. I’m usually not even sure I make sense to myself when I’m writing out of pain, so I’m happy you understood it!
Scott, the point about winches using energy and draining batteries was one of the most interesting things I learned from that article. I kind of doubt I get stuck in ditches from moving about the world in a carefree manner… I’m about as un-carefree a kind of person as they come.
David, I beg to differ. A cat would be even more anti-useful than a winch. A winch, if it is never used, just sits there and possibly decreases gas mileage. A cat has to be fed, thinks it is the boss, is demanding, wants what it wants on its own terms (I recall Codepoke’s son having something to say about that), and is generally underfoot.
As far as the winch being a temptation to go places where one is necessary, see my response to Scott–I have plenty of weaknesses, but–lacking carefreeness as I do–foolhardy is not usually one of them
Thanks to each of you for your smiles and well wishes. I’m doing a bit better today, and am actually moving forward with the work I have to get done.
This is simply profound … or is it profoundly simple?
“Whatever you attach the cable to, be sure that it is rated as strong as-or stronger than-what you’re pulling.”
Praise God for friends … I don’t know what I woud do without my friend Jim … cheap psychiatry for sure.
Blessings in the hard place E.. may you find that Rock that is higher than your hard place.
-Bob
Kansas Bob, Thanks for the blessing and the blessings.
And, you made me smile at the funniness of the wording “cheap psychiatry”. I certainly have my share of those kinds of friends. (I’ve got one of the reverse, too–a very expensive friend, i.e. therapist
)
e-
don’t misunderstand me…moving about the world in a carefree manner is not a bad way to live–if you own a winch or two. david’s idea that just owning a winch opens the mind up to more possibilities of carefree movement about the world is a good one. what winches do you have that give you this freedom to dream large? what ‘dreaming large’ are you doing? does jesus make an effective winch?
peace–
scott
Scott,
The smile is real and very big, because of the happy can of worms you’ve unknowingly stumbled yourself into now–the soapbox button of mine that you’ve just pushed: Uncarefree people of the world unite and exert your right not to have to dream large
!!!!
Let me try to summarize here, but I feel a post coming on (and I hope you can hear the smile and how much I enjoy opportunities to “soapbox” vs. hearing this as defensive against what you said. I was smiling when I read your comment and am smiling as I respond:
I agree with you that “moving about the world in a carefree manner is not a bad way to live,” especially if you own a winch or two, and especially if that’s the type of person you are.
On the flip side, moving about the world in a non-carefree manner is not a bad way to live, either. It is not lesser option (though I’ve often been led to think so). It is not even the less free option. I was happily referring to myself as “about as an un-carefree kind of person as they come” when I responded to your comment. Carefree is not my strength, but neither is it my weakness.
I’ve got plenty of strengths, and I’m finally getting to where I don’t have to be apologetic or believe that I”m repressed, depressed, suppressed or in bondage to my own neuroses because carefree is not among my strengths. Carefree is now a happily neutral word to me, and I really am content–and not feeling like I’m selling myself short–because I’m not as carefree as many other people in my life.
I’ve got plenty of weaknesses, too. They just don’t happen to be the particular ones that come along with being carefree.
Well, I hope you hear the smile on my face as I write this. Sometimes I sound intense and very serious, but I’m smiling. And this particular soapbox is one of those cases.
~~~~
As far as your last question about Jesus as a winch to help one get unstuck. I’m good at coming up with visual pictures to help express a particular feeling (like the whole feeling of being stuck between a rock and a hard place and searching for a picture for that). I’m not so good at creatively carrying analogies out very far or very consistently well.
I think Codepoke and Kansas Bob get at some parts of how that thought/word picture carries through to a spiritual comfort/analogy, with their blessings and wishes for me above–(1) the thought that when Jesus winches us out, part of how he does that is anchored into character he has developed and grown in us (undoubtedly in part through the hard stuff itself); and (2) also the picture David communicates a lot in the Psalms, of God as a Rock, High Place and Fortress in times of trouble.
But, specifically with reference to the way you asked the question, I can only answer sort of experientially. I can’t put it in exact winch-analogy terms, but I will say I am doing better than I was walking (or not, stuck as I felt for a good part of it) through that awful place this weekend. Part of how I experienced comfort and strength from God and from my faith in Him in that place was tied into remembering Jesus’ own experiences of brokenness and grief and his heard-but-not-answered prayers (Hebrews 5:7 were the words that came to mind and stirred up some of those thoughts and feelings that helped me keep going, little tiny inch at a time.)
I cringe that written out like that, any of it could sound like trite or pat answers to what you were asking. I don’t experience it as trite, but it tends to sound both trite and not very defensible when I try to express it in words, with all their limitations…
And it’s very likely that I’m overthinking a question that you asked quite simply and straightforward–that’s a tendency that is both a strength and a weakness of mine
Hiding place, refuge, fortress, strong tower, rock, beneath His wings…all safe places to be when you are stuck. You are not alone, and I am glad when I think of that for you…God has and will continue to make a way -that is why He is “I AM” – not “I was,” not “I hope to be,” not even I will be, but just today…this moment… for the stuck city between a rock and hard place, “I AM,” just for you – “He is!”
Joyjourney,
Thank you for the reminders and the pictures you paint of “on the Rock” as a good place to be. And thank you for the many, many tangible ways you remind me that I am not alone–for being a huge and significant part of God continuing to make a way for me through “stuck city” (I like that phrase you used to. It made me smile.