God Be With You

Every weekend I say good-bye to my children, as they leave to spend the next couple of days with their father.

Before they leave, I say a blessing over each of them:

You are my child, my joy and my treasure,
And in my heart, I’ll hold you forever.
In every word spoken, in every deed done,
Remember my love and the love of God’s Son.

and then, together, we sing these words:

God be with you till we meet again;
By His counsels guide, uphold you,
With His sheep securely fold you;
God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again;
‘Neath His wings protecting, hide you,
Daily manna still provide you;
God be with you till we meet again.
(words by Jeremiah E. Rankin; music by William G. Tomer)

It has become a ritual that the kids are very protective about making sure we fit in before they leave. The first few times, we talked in detail about what the words meant. I seriously doubt they consciously pay attention to the actual words anymore or focus on the meaning while we sing. This is, I suppose, why some people do not like ritual or tradition. Repetition can become mindless and the assumption is that mindless equals meaningless.

For me, however, whether or not my children clue into what is being said on any given day, it is very important that they have heard these words each week. The words are there, and by sheer repetition, I believe they have become a part of my children’s lives and minds and hearts.

There are many things which happen in shared life which are not rituals or traditions which, hopefully, fill out and support the heart behind these words. There are many things, I also know, which seem to argue against the words (I have a 13 year old son. At this point and time, even my expecting him to help with the dishes is interpreted by him as contradictory to my loving him.)

Words of blessing and a song of prayer are emptiness if they are all there is to a relationship. When there is more to a relationship, though, I think ritual can be a beautiful thing. But, even when love is present and shown in more ways, I believe that there will be times that my children will not be able to see or remember or notice all the rest of the things that are there, announcing my love to and for them.

And in that time and place, I hope that these words will come back to my children in good ways as some kind of assurance or affirmation. If they can’t cling to these words as absolutely true in the face of things which make them question my love, perhaps the relentlessness of rituals that can’t be forgotten will at least add an element of doubt to the questions which seem to scream with certainty at them of the untrustworthiness of their Mom’s love.

And in any case, whether or not my children are able to take or hold on to anything specific from these rituals, the song itself gives me words each week to express a cry and prayer from my heart. There are so many details and specifics which weigh on me and grieve me and cause me concern. This song beautifully and concisely brings together my heart’s cry and puts words to my deep prayer. That they are the same words each week does not make them less meaningful to me. It feels like these words are able to hold all the nuances of meaning, however different the actual situation may be each time I pray and sing them.

At the moments when it is hardest for me to find my own words of prayer, I am grateful for this song which expresses so much of my longing, hopes and trust in the Lord for my children, in such simple words.

My children have left early this week, and my heart is extra heavy for them for a variety of reasons. May God be with them till we meet again.