A couple of people have recently asked what has happened with my housing situation. The short answer is,
I still don’t know.
The slightly longer answer is,
I have this day and this month in this house, which I like so much–the same house I was in when I requested prayer that God would make a way for us to stay here, or provide grace and strength if I had to move. So, we’re still here. And that is a blessing I’m thankful for every day.
The even longer answer is,
The owners still urgently want to sell the home, and I have felt that pressure, although there is not much I can do to make that happen. For a variety of reasons (including the fact that they do not live locally), there has been some confusion in getting it listed to sell (and then there’s the little confusion about how many bedrooms the house has. Tax records say “0”, appraiser, contractor and one realtor say “2”, I say “3 and a loft” and another realtor says “4, maybe 3”. That argument held things up for a while as the owners and realtors tried to figure out how they could list it so (1) it shows up on searches for the group of people who would actually be potential buyers and (2) nobody gets in trouble further down the road for calling something a bedroom that really isn’t.)
What this has meant is that we have already been able to stay in this home longer than seemed possible a couple of months ago. In addition, due to the very slow real estate market, although there is still uncertainty about when we’ll leave, and although there is certainty that we will eventually have to move, it will, in all likelihood, not be very soon. The owners are still urgently wanting to sell. But, until that time, it works out well for all involved that my children and I are able to stay here.
I have come to a more settled and at-peace place of being able to face the move, whenever it happens, with less panic, while also enjoying every day we still have in this house, which is inherently beautiful and peaceful to me.
I still would love it if God provided a way for us to do a lease purchase option or something like that so we wouldn’t have to move at all, but I’m a lot more okay than I was a while back with just saying, “We have this day in this house, and, for that, I’m grateful.” When I wrote the earlier posts, I was so tense with worry about the uncertainty of the tomorrows and, probably more significantly, distressed about the unsettledness of another move on top of so many other moves and huge life changes, that it had become difficult for me to just rest in today’s gifts and the joys of being in this house that I enjoy so much.
I do appreciate your continued prayers for God’s healing in my life in this whole are of dealing with being unsettled. Little by little, my body and mind are beginning to recover from the (what feels like) non-stop transience of my adult life. While I crave physical and geographic stability, I want to be able to enjoy it when I have it, grieve when I don’t, but still have enough energy in reserve to be able to find equilibrium and balance to walk through times of upheaval such as moving to another house. I do not want “staying in one place,” as much as that is a longing, to be such a demand that I hold up to God. Nor do I want to live in such fear–the fear that, “If I have to move one more time, I’m going to crumble into a million pieces.”
God is doing that work of healing in my spirit, and I am grateful. I’m grateful for the time I’ve had in this house. And grateful for each day, one at a time, that we can still live here.